Pathing the Future

When we were all younger, naive and innocent, we all had our own ambitions. Inspired by parents, relatives, friends, cartoons and movies, how many of us actually became what we first aimed to be?

I was looking through those ancient school magazines, and a few of my classmates had really unique ambitions. The most unique…was becoming a clown. For those ex-lodgians of class 2005, guess who? Hehe.

Cita-cita saya ialah menjadi seorang badut. (My ambition is to become a clown.)

So the time finally comes when I have to make my own decision about what I wanna be, what I wanna do and yada yada yada.

Looking at my ambitions throughout my 19 years…I must say I was a confused child.

During my early secondary days, I yearned to be a doctor. A child pedatrician to be exact. I got inspired after watching The Wedding Planner starring J. Lo and Matthew McConaughy. Helping little kids, having fun at the same time. It’s a rewarding job and all. But after second thoughts, i realised, the kids in Malaysia aren’t like what you see in the movies. If you know what I mean…:D

And then CSI was a big hit. I told Mops one day…

“I wanna be a coroner. Can ah?”
“Coroner? Do what one?”
Pops chipped in “Tai si lang one.” (Operate dead people)

So yeah, as you can guess, gone was that ambition. Oh, after watching Cadaver with Ben, i’m glad i didn’t pursue that career. Haha! Oh don’t watch that movie. Horrible storyline thought it’s quite freaky. :S

Okay I’m digressing…

After my hopes and dreams of becoming a coroner faded, i asked them about being a CSI. But of course lah, not good prospect in Malaysia bah. When crimes happen here, *ahem ahem* nobody cares lah.

In addition, i thought bio-tech was a good choice too. Working in labs with the white lab coat(so gaya!), and I came across that course while surfing the net. So when people asked me what I wanted to study, i said “Bio-tech.” And let me tell you, during those time, nobody knew what it was. And overnight, it became so popular that i didn’t want to study it anymore. Haha!

And then, it was the artsy-fartsy side of me that took over in Form 3-4. Having learned the piano since 5, and taking up various instruments on the way, i wanted to be a musician. A musician in general, i never thought what i was gonna major in. So it was set then. I finished off everything, even sat for my Grade 8 Theory during SPM, and paid for my registration fees at IMH.

I was due to start Foundation year in about 2 weeks, when i thought again. Music career? Come back most probably become music teacher only. Yikes. Definitely not what i wanna do. Being stuck within four walls with annoying kids banging the piano, strangling the viola, playing the saxophone like kettle whistling…so yeah. I forfeited my registration fees and then my music career floated away again. It’s something I’d do part-time, definitely not full-time.

So i went to Taylor’s KL, and besides the 2 core subjects of English and Maths, I chose Legal Studies, Econs and Psychology as my electives. It was quite a weird option changing from the Science side to the Arts side. I decided i had enough of Science for SPM. (=

Then during my college year, I found Legal Studies damn interesting. After the ‘very eventful'(it’s an inside thing) moot court we had and the English debate which I somehow won best debator, I actually considered becoming a lawyer. Being a lawyer was also something Pops had always wanted to be when he was younger. Somehow something in me wanted to fulfil his dreams of becoming a lawyer. Anyways, that too floated away when i thought of how much I have to work my ass off if i really wanted to take up law. *thick thick thick books…case studies…faints*

So doctor, coroner, CSI, scientist, musician, lawyer is out. What next?

Psycho me said “Psychologist!”

But it’s quite a long course too. Four years for a degree, two years masters, and a PhD or 2 years working experience before you can become a recognised and registered psychologist. What’s more, Malaysians don’t go to psychologists. We never admit that we’re psychos. 😛

And then….

I finally decided.

*I feel like the Ents from LOTR. The Ent meeting…hehe*

Yeah, i finally decided.

To be a music therapist.

If you don’t know what it is, go google it. Don’t ask me.

If you analyse all my options, it’s actually quite inter-related one way or another. And this option includes a bit of music, psychology and scientist. In a way. But i don’t get to cut on dead people like Mozart, or go to court to debate on which song is nicer. But yeah, it’s what I want to be.

But if you think that’s what I’m going to take up next year, you’re wrong.

After extensive research, the best place to do Music Therapy is in Berklee, US of A. And it costs a bomb. Furthermore, music therapy is not recognised in Malaysia for goodness knows what reason.

So in the end?

I’ll be doing Mass Communications instead. Majoring in Public Relations and Management.

Exactly what some of my friends said I should do in the first place. I quote and unquote, “It’s so you.”

-_-”

And so I have my plans all laid out.

After completing my BMassCom by 2009, I’ll continue with an Honours if i don’t fail(God forbid). Then I’ll continue working in Australia, and get another Honours degree in Music Therapy by distance learning.

And if i’m not psycho yet, I just might aim for a PhD. That is if i don’t get Permanent head Damage after that.

Ambitious dreams I know. But a girl can always dream…